How to Maintain A Healthy Dating Life

“Hey you!”
“Hii. Still at the office?”
“Haanji.”
“Didn’t you have... like... a very busy day? Super important conference and all?”
“Still do. Doesn’t mean I’ll let my favorite hooman miss me.”
“Ha. Do remind me to save your number as Mr. Cheesy.

”
“Haha. Sure. See ya tonight then.”
“Yup. See ya! :)”

A relationship is founded not on grand declarations but small gestures. This short conversation took me less than five minutes. But this insignificant amount of time that I took out from my really busy schedule would've probably helped her smile for the whole day (I hope!).

Letting your loved ones know that they feature high on your priority list, even if it’s through a five-minute conversation, is one of the many little things you can do to keep your dating life healthy. And there are so many other similar gestures that make a relationship meaningful.

Between a romantic stroll, a couple getaway, and a healthy discussion about social issues, here are a few tips on how you can maintain a healthy dating life.

Try Being a Friend...

If there’s a choice between going out on a romantic dinner and something a little more casual, I’d prefer strolling down a familiar street, stopping for chole kulche and a nice cup of chai at a local street vendor. Don’t get me wrong. I love grand romantic gestures, but a relationship is about camaraderie as well, and having tea with a friend tops the list for me!

... But Intimacy is Necessary Too!

I watch her face light up as I slowly slip my hand in hers in a crowded street. She looks at me and smiles. It’s a good day.
Being intimate is not just about connecting physically every day. The ‘Little Things’ that you do (get it?) matter the most. Even if it’s as small as your legs touching under the sheets after an exhausting day!

A Relationship is Two Imperfect People Refusing to Give Up on Each Other...

If you’re not having clashes, either you’re currently in the ‘honeymoon period’ or you’re just agreeing to everything your partner has to say. Understand that there can be conflicts in your relationship, big or small. But don’t let that burst your romantic bubble or bring you down. I’ve seen couples constantly fight each other, but they still remember to pick up their partner’s favorite ice cream! And that’s beautiful, don’t you think?

...Working Their Way Through Smaller Conflicts...

The other day there was an argument between me and my partner which never reached a conclusion. Not long after, I found myself irritated over the loud volume of her TV. However, when I thought it over, I realized that it wasn’t the loud television but the unconcluded argument that was troubling me.
Don’t bottle up small grievances inside. Talk it all out - the wet towels on the bed, the hair in the comb, the crappy music they like - and sort it all out.

...And Realizing That It’s a Wonderful Day Together!

Waking up to the beautiful person sharing my bed, one who’s captivated me with her warmth and compassion, made me think of the ways I could halt the fight we had last night. And over a cup of hot tea and rusk, we talked it all out, and the day just got a little better.
Start afresh, think of the positives. Don’t let one fight hold you back and always look at the larger picture - your relationship, your love for each other, and the happy moments you share. However, if your partner is not in the mood to take a break from the fight, that’s okay. Try from your side, give her some time, but trust that it will get resolved.

Joey Doesn't Share His Food…

Love is about caring and sharing, but I’m just going to say it out in the open - My Netflix is my own. My playlist is my own. And my food choices are my own. Being with someone doesn’t mean you have to inherit all of their choices. If you don’t like sharing your food, let your partner know. If your partner prefers dining at fancy restaurants while you don’t, work it out. Respect your individuality as well as that of your partner and talk openly (and without judgment) about your likes and dislikes.

…But We Can Share Some Thoughts…

Trusting your partner with your thoughts is a key aspect of building a strong relationship. Many of us talk about our daily issues, the hectic work schedule, and the demanding bosses, but we often avoid sensitive topics. Personally, I try inciting conversations about various social issues (even politics) just to know their views.
Don’t try to avoid your stand on an issue and keep your innermost thoughts to yourself just because it might lead to a conflict. Healthy conflicts are alright.

…All in Good Time. Maybe Some Other Day.

While having someone you can share your thoughts with is great, some people open up on their own terms. If you really wish to know a person, ease them into it instead of constantly hassling them up to open up to you. You cannot force thoughts out of a person, and the more you push them, the more likely you are to shut them down.

And Finally, Go on an Adventure Together!

There’s a really old saying that unless you’ve traveled with the person, you can never know them completely. Travelling helps you understand how a person is going to react under adverse conditions - the traffic, long travel hours, bad hotels, packing woes, and more. Getaways also open up more chances to share the fears and ambitions and strengths and weaknesses with each other. So pack up and head out on trips often.

While these were just some pointers I’ve observed, maintaining a healthy dating life is highly subjective and ultimately narrows down to the mutual respect, trust, and acceptance you have for your partner. How you go about building that is up to you, but I’d always advise a healthy dose of understanding and empathy for every relationship. That’s the glue that will hold you both together.